May and her parents spent the day of the Royal Wedding at IKEA. I did mean to send an update, an American-behind-the-scenes/lone reporter-on-the-prowl kind of thing, but I there wasn’t any internet access at IKEA. Instead, I tested out new sofas for my new flat using my new butt (it’s not only your tummy that expands in pregnancy…)
The day started normally enough. My husband and I were up early taking care of our own little princess. BUT, not as early as usual since, because I live in Britain, I had the day off work! Woohoo!
While our resident monarch, May, screamed for her bottle, and Britain’s elite took to the silver screen in all their finery, my husband and I slummed around in our PJs. We spent the morning listening to the reports that were on every station. And by every station, I mean every station. I had no idea how major an event this was for Britain.
Not that I heard much of it over my husband’s repeated requests that “the f@?king royals f@?k right off.”
We aren’t exactly Royalists in our household, being “earn-your-keep” kind of people. We believe a heartfelt cause is not a job. We also believe, no matter who you are, you don’t need several estates scattered across the country that you’ve never paid for. Especially, when the sale of one could pay to re-establish disability funding for every child in the country.
After amusing myself for a couple of hours egging my husband on, I happened to glance outside the window. “Do you know there is no one outside?” I asked him.
“They are all in watching this on the telly,” he grunted back.
“There are no people. No cars. No one is walking their dog.” Then, like I’d been struck with the blunt end of a royal sceptre, it hit me: “We should go to IKEA! No one will be at IKEA!” And, we were off!
It was amazing. There was no one there even though the entire country had the day off. And, this morning, the BBC reported on my great idea! (Though they didn’t interview May or I personally – don’t get excited, Mom.)
Because of our move, you’ve heard much less from us over the last week or so. Internet connection resumes on Wednesday (fingers x).